I am not certain when it started (maybe three or four years ago), but it has become an annual tradition for the Williams family. Every year, on the kids’ last day of school, my boys and I ride our bikes to their school. It’s not a long ride, but it is a meaningful one to them and to me. We ride and talk and talk and ride. We speed up and we slow down. The early morning cool air hits our faces as we speed down Eastern Avenue, talking and riding and riding and talking. We can barely hear each other because of traffic and the wind, but we understand each other. It’s not a long ride, but it’s a meaningful one to them and to me.

Today was special because Mikayla, my sweetie, joined the tradition. The last couple years she couldn’t ride with us because she was still riding with training wheels. The boys thought she would simply slow us down. They were right. But, this morning, I tell you, she held her own. She rocked it out! I am so proud of her. As long as they are never too old or tired of the tradition, I won’t be too busy to continue it. It’s a short ride, but one that I hope is creating long memories.

What “last day of school” traditions does your family have? What “last day of school” tradition can you start that will be meaningful to you and your children? Leave your comments.

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A while ago I had a conversation with an 8 year old child that simply broke and melted my heart. It was a conversation about her not feeling wanted and loved by her dad. She thought she was the seeming unimportant pawn in the chess match of her mother and father’s divorce and animosity toward each other. For whatever reason, her dad refuses to spend time with her (Can someone please help me with this? I simply don’t understand).

I tried to assure her that no dad would intentionally not spend time with his children, especially his daughter. She didn’t seem to buy what I was selling. Shoot! I didn’t even buy what I was selling because I have witnessed plenty of deadbeat dads simply refuse to spend time with their children, and then turn around and say that they love their kids. In my mind, the two cannot be reconciled, plain and simple. I can only surmise that either they don’t love their kids or they love themselves more than they love their kids. Either one is an abdication of their responsibility as a father and devastating for the child.

Anyway, I asked her if she was angry with her dad. She assured me that she was not. “All I want is to see and spend time with my dad.” she whimpered. It took everything in me to keep it together. At that moment I realized something: little girls need and want their daddys. Even if the super hero cape has been marred by broken promises and unintentional or intentional negligence, little girls need and want their daddys. Little girls need and want their daddys to be fully present with them, to hold their hands as they cross the street, to tuck them in at night, to study spelling words with them, to wipe their tears away, to protect them from danger (especially knuclehead boys), to buy them ice cream and take them to the bookstore, to listen intently to their repeated ramblings about their day, to be honest and ask forgiveness, to assure them that God is big and strong, to remind them that God listens to their whimpers and can interpret their tears, to buy them what they need and surprise them with what they want, to model what a godly man is and should be, and to one day, with confidence, give their hand to a man who will take as much care to love them as we have. I wrote this last paragraph with tears streaming down my face. Why? Because I have a little girl, and when we walk down the street together, holding hands, or when she sits in my lap or asks me to give her a horseback ride to her bed, I know that my little girl needs and wants her daddy.

What do you think of this post? What are some of your initial reactions?

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Here is a picture (Yes! I was the photographer.) of our new digs in Haslett, Michigan. God is really gracious toward his children.

Yesterday morning, around 10:20, Tonia and I began signing a 2 inch stack of papers to close on our new house in Haslett,  Michigan. By 11:30, we had carpal tunnel (At least it felt like it), a bunch of brand new keys, a few gifts from the realtor, a lot of handshakes and congratulations, utilities transferred over to my name, and a stack of signed papers reminding us of our long term relationship with the bank (we will certainly try to shorten that relationship through some wise stewardship practices). We are humbled that God would provide for us the way he has. We thank him for his gracious provision to us and all those who journeyed with us in prayer and encouragement through this long and sometimes frustrating process.

PRAISALLEUIA! The commute is almost over! (I had to throw that in there).

The big move date is scheduled for Monday June 28th. Why on a Monday? Tonia looked at our schedule – kids at Spring Hill Camp, Tonia starting class, me doing everything under the sun – and determined that was one of the only free days for us to get it done. Plus, we want to get our tenant into the house as quickly as possible. Tonia has been right so many times in the past. So, I trust her judgment. I will forward more details of the move in the next few days.

Rejoice with us as God has proven once again that he is faithful. Again, thanks for your prayers, encouragement and support.

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Thirteen years ago today (May 27th, at 11:25 a.m.), God blessed Tonia and me with our first child – a boy – Marvin Jr.  He weighed in at 6 lbs and 12 ounces and was 20 inches long. Today, we celebrate his quirky humor, silly and passionate laugh, bottomless stomach (He refuses to eat off the kid’s menu), inquisitive mind, his love for science, his artistic ability, his athleticism, his love for video games and legos, his compassionate heart, his concern for children, his growing leadership capabilities, his love for his friends, and his growing love for Jesus.

This evening some very important men, men who have had a strong hand in Marvin’s life, will celebrate him by sharing scripture, words of encouragement, life lessons, or symbols of manhood. The apostle Paul said the older men should teach and mentor the younger men. This one example of this biblical principle. We believe he will remember this event for a long time to come. We are so proud of Marvin, and we are expecting God to do some special things with and through him.

Though his birthday was yesterday, please join me and Tonia today as we celebrate our first born, Marvin Lewis Williams, Jr. If you don’t mind, please leave a specific life lesson, a powerful word of encouragement, or favorite scripture for Marvin Jr. in the comment section. Thank you very much.

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Happy Birthday, Mikayla L’Amour aka “Sweetie” Eight years ago, on an overcast and cool morning, at 10:27 a.m., our Heavenly Father blessed Tonia and me with our third child, a baby girl. We named her Mikayla L’amour (The Love – Thanks grandma Daisy). She weighed 7 pounds and 4 ounces and was 18 inches long.  As I captured this moment that morning, my eyes were filled with tears of joy and heart was exploding with worship, praise, and thanksgiving. The prayer you see written in my journal, is the same prayer I continue to pray today.

After eight years, my heart continues to explode with joy as I am watching and enjoying my “Sweetie” grow up really fast.

As I have watched her grow, her are a few of my observations: She loves Jesus, her Day with Dad, getting her hair done with her mother (getting pretty expensive), reading (The Abbey Hayes series is one of her favs), memorizing Scripture, stuffed animals, cheese pizza, me reading to her at night and tucking her in, playing the Go Diego Go game, I Spy Memory Game, Trouble, and Apples to Apples, trying to hang with her brothers, her friends (Joy, Julia, Nadia, Torrie, and Coletta), her dream of being a Vet, watching iCarly, Big Time Rush, and True Jackson, VP.

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Today is April 7th, and whereas this day may be just another day for you, it is a significant day for me and an even more special day for my daughter, Mikayla. You see, today is her Day with Dad. Though I spend regular time with my kids during the week, each month I spend SPECIAL time with each of them on the day of their birth (inspired by a my friend Artie Lindsay), and we call it Day with Dad (Mikayla’s B-day is May 7th, Marvin Jr’s B-day is May 27th and Micah’s B-day is August 28th). We put it on our home calendar each month so I won’t forget and so they can anticipate it each month. I really try not to miss this time, and if I just have to miss it (which is extremely rare), I get their permission to schedule it on another day in the same week.

I tend to do what they want, within reason and budget, of course. I think today we are going to the Justice Store at the mall. Really don’t know if my wallet can handle that. Whatever we do, whether it is going out to eat, going to the bookstore (I have not influenced this choice at all) or a movie, studying AWANA verses, studying for a spelling bee, or going to get ice cream, we always spend time walking and talking about our hopes, dreams and fears, laughing a lot, mainly at ourselves, and discussing what it means to follow Jesus.

I ask them questions about how I might encourage them rather than provoke them to anger (Ephesians 6:4) or discouragement (Colossians 3:21). Sidebar: I think sometimes we as parents criticize this angry generation as if we had nothing to do with it. I digress. Although they gave me fairly high marks (I graded myself a full grade lower) last month when they graded me as a father, I know God is still working on me. Because I have a few short years to invest in them and influence them, I must be intentional in turning every minute with them into significant moments.

If you have children, do you have a SPECIAL day or spend SPECIAL time with them? If so, what do you normally do? If not, what prevents you and what do you need to do to begin?

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Yesterday my wife and I had a great conversation, and it reminded me of why I love and appreciate her so much. She told me that sometimes I am so busy and focused on ministry, writing and preaching, that everything else seems like a blur to me. She said during those times, somebody has to take care of the blur, and she would be the one who would take care of the blur (My definition in the context of our conversation: any small but absolutely important detail that helps your family, your life or your business function most effectively). Wow! I was humbled.

I am more and more convinced that one of my wife’s greatest strengths, to help our five part body work most effectively, is “taking care of the blur.” Here is a simple and non-exhaustive example: A couple weeks ago I traveled to Houston for six days to preach a family conference for a long time mentor. While I was away focused on ministry and preaching, she, while she worked her regular job at the community college, was taking care of “the blur.” She was taking care of the blur of arranging for our kids to be picked up for and from school, meeting with and talking with our Realtor,  checking on our flight costs for our vacation, and taking our kids to music practice. Man, she really does take care of the blur. This is vital to helping our five part body function most effectively. I honestly don’t know where I would be and where our family would be if Tonia did not take care of “the blur.” Thanks, Honey Brown for taking care of “the blur.”

Who takes care of “the blur” for you in your Life? Family? Business? What are some examples of them taking care of “the blur?” In what ways can you show your appreciation for them this week?

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I wanted to share this with you on our 15th year anniversary, but I did not have a copy with me in Aruba, plus the server was down at the resort. When Tonia and I were married 15 years ago, on the 10th day of July, 1994 @ 3:25 p.m., this is what I said to my bride:

To the beautiful one I stand before
It is you and you alone
I promise to love, cherish and adore

I make a solemn but joyful pledge this day,
before God and men
to love you in every way

It’s a love that is not wrapped in empty words,
but one that is seen
and not just heard

My vow this day is to provide and give
And a godly life before God, you and our children,
I will strive to live

I promise to wrap your delicate frame
in my arms when you are confused and afraid
and constantly remind you that His grace
is greater than our need.

I vow to look to and depend on the Lord of Hosts
and when an army of troubles come
in His power I will boast.

My love is tainted and incomplete
But in our most difficult times, when it will be hard to love,
I promise his love and grace we will seek.

I promise to trust Christ to guide the vessel of our marriage safely to port
Because never a mission have I known him to fail or abort

In the mind of God, from the very start,
Man and wife should become one flesh and never part.

So, to you and you only I will now cleave
and vow this day, except for death, to never leave

So when eyes are dimming and hair is graying
May I be found ever saying
I’m committed, to thee alone, I’m committed

When steps are shortened and beauty fading,
May I be found ever saying
I’m committed, to thee alone, I’m committed.

When these eyes are forever closed and my life’s breath cease,
May the testimony of my life be:
He was committed. To her alone, he was committed.

Over the last fifteen years, I have attempted to be faithful to live out these vows. But, I know I have failed, many times, (more than I care to recall), in living up to these lofty words. Today, I am working harder and harder to live in obedience to God’s role for me as a husband and embody these words that I spoke over 15 years ago.

What vows – marital or otherwise – have you made? Are you living up to the vows you made? What’s been the most difficult and the most rewarding part in living up to the vows you made?

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By the grace and power of God, I have been married and faithful to my beautiful, funny and very smart wife for fifteen years. By his grace and power, I plan to remain married and faithful to her until death separates us. Now, please hear me. I don’t say this with pride, overconfidence, self-sufficiency or sitting in the judgment seat; I know I can fall and fail like so many others have. But, I say it with humility and gratitude to God. I think I have some compelling reasons why I have not had and don’t plan to have a “jump off.”

1. I made a covenant/commitment to love and honor my wife. When I said I do before God and those 300 witnesses, I meant what I said. I promised to love, honor, cherish and to forsake all others. To have a “jump off” would dishonor Tonia, break the covenant I made, and render my vows as empty words.

2. God has allowed me, over the years, to build a good reputation and to have a modicum of positive influence. To have a “jump off” would topple and ruin, in a minute, all that God has allowed me to build over a long period of time. It’s just not worth disappointing so many people and losing my voice of influence.

3. I enjoy living and keeping all my body parts. A twitter friend of mine (David Turner) said, ‘A “jump off will get you “jumped on.”‘ Lol! So, there are some physically compelling reasons for me not to have a “jump off.”

4. I have three beautiful children, who look up to their father and think that he is some sort of hero to them. I really try to live up to their expectations, but I know I fall short often. But, in this area, I don’t want to have to sit them down, take off the cape, and try to explain to them why my actions were less than heroic, why I hurt their mother in such a deep way, and why I broke their trust. That’s a conversation I would prefer not to have with them.

5. It is just too physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially draining to keep up with lies I’m supposed to tell, two or three sets of places I’m supposed to be, gifts I’m supposed to buy, lines I’m supposed to have down, and important dates I’m supposed to remember. I’m just becoming proficient in all of this with Tonia. To try and do this for more than one, I’m just not that good, and neither do I want to be.

6. For me to have a “jump off” would sully the sacredness of marriage and break the heart of my heavenly Father. I still believe that marriage is a sacred and holy relationship designed by God, and I want mine to be a true and clear picture of Christ’s relationship to the church. As for breaking the heart of my heavenly Father, I am trying to do that less and less.

It is time for us to take the energy and creativity we put into maintaining “jump offs” and redirect and reposition it toward working on, protecting and saving our marriages.

What are some other compelling reasons to remain faithful to your spouse? What practical things would you suggest or do you have in place to guard yourself from having an affair or committing adultery?

BTW, if you see me doing something, saying something, writing something or relating to someone in a way that is deemed inappropriate, you have the freedom to check me.

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Every so often I wonder about my funeral. (Now, I know this is not a pleasant thought, but it has a significant purpose for me). When I think about that day, I wonder what people will say about me, you know, what kind of person I was and what kind of impact I made on the world. This process is quite humbling and motivating. It’s humbling because I know God is the one who controls life and not me. I know my life will end one day. It’s motivating because it causes me to give my life to the things that really matter – God, eternal values, family and friends. 

Therefore, each day I live, I am writing, or at least have opportunity to write the eulogy that I would like read at my own funeral.  Here are some questions that have been very helpful to me as I have thought through this process. They may be helpful to you, too, as you write and live your own eulogy

1. How do I want to be remembered?

2. What personal characteristics do I want people to remember me for or by?

3. What do I want to have accomplished? 

4. What will have been the most important to me in my life? 

5. What will my lasting legacy be?

Have you ever asked yourself these kinds of questions? If so, how did the process make you feel? 

If you don’t mind, take a moment to think through one of the questions above and leave your answer here. Grace and peace.

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