Today is April 7th, and whereas this day may be just another day for you, it is a significant day for me and an even more special day for my daughter, Mikayla. You see, today is her Day with Dad. Though I spend regular time with my kids during the week, each month I spend SPECIAL time with each of them on the day of their birth (inspired by a my friend Artie Lindsay), and we call it Day with Dad (Mikayla’s B-day is May 7th, Marvin Jr’s B-day is May 27th and Micah’s B-day is August 28th). We put it on our home calendar each month so I won’t forget and so they can anticipate it each month. I really try not to miss this time, and if I just have to miss it (which is extremely rare), I get their permission to schedule it on another day in the same week.

I tend to do what they want, within reason and budget, of course. I think today we are going to the Justice Store at the mall. Really don’t know if my wallet can handle that. Whatever we do, whether it is going out to eat, going to the bookstore (I have not influenced this choice at all) or a movie, studying AWANA verses, studying for a spelling bee, or going to get ice cream, we always spend time walking and talking about our hopes, dreams and fears, laughing a lot, mainly at ourselves, and discussing what it means to follow Jesus.

I ask them questions about how I might encourage them rather than provoke them to anger (Ephesians 6:4) or discouragement (Colossians 3:21). Sidebar: I think sometimes we as parents criticize this angry generation as if we had nothing to do with it. I digress. Although they gave me fairly high marks (I graded myself a full grade lower) last month when they graded me as a father, I know God is still working on me. Because I have a few short years to invest in them and influence them, I must be intentional in turning every minute with them into significant moments.

If you have children, do you have a SPECIAL day or spend SPECIAL time with them? If so, what do you normally do? If not, what prevents you and what do you need to do to begin?

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Every so often I wonder about my funeral. (Now, I know this is not a pleasant thought, but it has a significant purpose for me). When I think about that day, I wonder what people will say about me, you know, what kind of person I was and what kind of impact I made on the world. This process is quite humbling and motivating. It’s humbling because I know God is the one who controls life and not me. I know my life will end one day. It’s motivating because it causes me to give my life to the things that really matter – God, eternal values, family and friends. 

Therefore, each day I live, I am writing, or at least have opportunity to write the eulogy that I would like read at my own funeral.  Here are some questions that have been very helpful to me as I have thought through this process. They may be helpful to you, too, as you write and live your own eulogy

1. How do I want to be remembered?

2. What personal characteristics do I want people to remember me for or by?

3. What do I want to have accomplished? 

4. What will have been the most important to me in my life? 

5. What will my lasting legacy be?

Have you ever asked yourself these kinds of questions? If so, how did the process make you feel? 

If you don’t mind, take a moment to think through one of the questions above and leave your answer here. Grace and peace.

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The good looking kid (gets the looks from his mother) you see in the picture is my son, Micah. This year he has developed a love affair with baseball. On Thursday he asked me to work on his pitching with him. I told him that I would after I finished working out. I finished my workout, got something to eat, showered and before I knew it, time had slipped away from me. Now, I was rushing out the door to get to the office. As I was walking out the door, I heard his innocent but maturing voice, “I thought you were going to work on my pitching with me.”

Now, I had every intention on playing with him, but had conjured up several “good” reasons why we should postpone his pitching session: I was running behind schedule, he had just finished eating, and it had been raining earlier (Now, it really hadn’t rained long and hard enough to prevent us from playing). “Son, can we work on your pitching when I come back home this evening?” He said, “All right, dad.” Although his “all right” sounded like he understood, I knew it was laced with disappointment. His “all right” sounded like a hope deferred, and I was the one who had deferred it.  

When he conceded, I knew I was about to break a promise to my son. But, the Holy Spirit would not let me. He nudged me to put down my bag, my blackberry, and my afternoon snack and pick up my glove and work on pitching with my son. I obeyed. It was the best ten minutes of my day. Yes, it was inconvenient. Yes, it interrupted my flow. But, something more important than my schedule and my flow was at stake. My integrity was at stake. My example and reputation of being a “father who keeps a promise’ was at stake (I know another Father who has a reputation of keeping promises) This was about more than playing catch. It was about making and keeping a promise to my son. I told him I would, and I needed to keep my word. It was a promise worth keeping.

What promises have you made to your spouse, children, family and friends, that you need to keep today? What inconveniences or interruptions have you allowed to prevent you from keeping your word? What baby steps can you take to fulfill your promises?

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I was at a luncheon on yesterday, where Don Cousins, author of LeaderShift, was speaking to a group of pastors. I was sitting next to a distinguished gentleman, who is a very prominent leader in the black community and an associate minister at the host church. While we listened to the talk (It really was a great talk), he made it pretty obvious that he did not want to be there. He seemed to grow more and more impatient with each passing minute. He checked his watch at least 10-15 times and held his head down almost the entire talk, fiddling with his PDA.

Minutes before Cousins finished his talk, the man got up to leave, but his pastor asked him to stay until Cousins was completely done. He complied. Afterwards, he told his pastor that during the talk he was convinced that his church was not the place for him and that he was leaving. Then he said, “But, in the last three minutes of the talk, the Lord spoke to me, telling me there is work to be done. I’m staying.” Now, Cousins’ talk lasted almost an hour (Every leader and pastor should have heard it), but it was the last three minutes that impacted this man and changed his mind.

This brief exchange taught me a few lessons:

• 180 seconds in more than enough time for God to speak and change a mind and a life.
• If I bail out of a message or prayer or a conversation too soon, I could be missing what God wants to say to me, to disturb me, encourage me, challenge me, bless me, empower me, sustain me, and even rearrange my values to align with his. The last three minutes of my quiet time with God, listening to message, or having a conversation with a mentor or a friend, might be the most important minutes of the entire time. 
• I need to dial in, be fully present, and listen carefully.

How have you experienced God speaking to you in a short period of time? How did you respond to his voice?

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Yesterday, as I was leaving the office, I ran into someone who knew me, but I didn't know them (I get that an awful lot). We chatted about a message I did a couple years ago. The conversation quickly turned to the weather and how we were having an absolutely gorgeous day. Now this wasn't small talk; this was real talk because in the middle of winter and what has turned out to be a brutal and bitter one, God blessed us with a 56 degree, sun-filled, azure sky, day. It was a beautiful day. All was right with the world. But, I quickly turned the conversation to tomorrow's weather, which was going to be 31 degrees. 

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