As I was running the other day, I realized something that really disturbed me - I don’t need God. I mean, I never actually said it with my mouth, nor was this an arrogant declaration; I am way too spiritual and “elder brotherish” for that. lol! But, I say it with my actions all the time. For what I believe determines how I behave and how I behave reveals what I really believe. Here are some I don’t need God indicators that the Holy Spirit revealed to me:

When I fail to pray.  

When I depend on my creativity and gifting more than seeking to be empowered and used by the Holy Spirit.

When I secretly take the credit for God’s work through me and fail to thank God for his gifting and use of those gifts to advance his kingdom. 

When I consult my mentors before I consult God for personal guidance and important decisions. Or, when I don’t consult God at all. 

When I think God’s help and power is nice but not absolutely necessary.

When I am a practical atheist – saying that God exists, but living as if he doesn’t.

When I allow people’s positive or negative opinions of me to define me and my ministry. 

When my money, possessions, social media make less and less room for God.

I need God and I know I need God. I just want to make sure I am living like I need God. 

What about you? Do you think this list is accurate? What are some other postures that we take that indicate we don’t need God? Please join the conversation and invite others.

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1. Repent of our stinginess and be more generous 
2. Use food wisely at parties, reunions and open houses (take extra or leftover food to a homeless shelter) 
3. Have a family garage sale and give the proceeds to a cause fighting poverty, shelter or food bank
4. Serve at a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen, as a family
5. Meet and get to know people of all socioeconomic levels
6. Make one “poor meal” a month in your home (eat a very, very, very simple meal to remind your family that for many people such a meal is not an unpleasant reality that happens once a month. It is a way of life). 
7. Become actively involved in causes fighting and decreasing poverty – One, Samaritan’s Purse,, Plumpynut
8. Change your lifestyle – Live more simply
9. Start a family charity box or coffee can, where you put extra change, money you would spend for coffee or fast food. Each month determine what charity, shelter, or poor person the money will go to. 
10. Be homeless for a day or night
11. Adopt a child or children
12. Take a homeless person to dinner and actually sit and talk with him/her
13. Skip a weekly trip to the grocery store and donate money to a poor single mother, shelter, or food bank
14. Talk with your children about poverty and its affects
15. Avoid overconsumption
16. Fight injustice and oppression – in schools, among women, people of color, etc.
17. Get involved with Tabitha’s Closet 
18. Invite friends to watch a documentary on poverty and how it affects the futures of poor people
19. Give people what they really need and lack; don’t give stuff away just to be kind or to not feel guilty
20. Educate yourself on at least one aspect of poverty over the next month 

I know we will always have poor people in our world. This simply means we have more opportunities to bless them with our generosity. What are some other do you think we can make poverty history in our world? 

Don’t forget to leave a comment. Later this week I will let you know what organization we’ve chosen and how much we will be contributing. Thanks for your partnership. Grace and peace.

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Last night, after dinner, my wife and I engaged in a deep conversation about our relationship. The magic of Aruba will make you do that. We talked about the last fifteen years – when we first got married, the ups and downs, the good and the not so good, the high points and the low points, the hilarious and the serious times, of our marriage. As we sat on the beach, listening to waves crashing onto shore and looking up at the moonlit night, we talked about how God had given a measure of success in our marriage (a far cry from being perfect). We have had a level of success because of: 

How much work we’ve had to put into it

How many adjustments and compromises we’ve had to make,

How we’ve had to ask forgiveness and be forgiven,

How many times we’ve had to let go of our own agenda and make the other the priority, even when we did not want to, and

How we’ve had to wrap the towel around our waist and wash each other’s feet.

It was really a great conversation (We’ve only just begun). From our conversation, I concluded this: We don’t find our soul mates (I’m not knocking those who say they have found theirs). I know “finding our soul mate” implies such compelling compatibility that it feels like this person is the other half of your soul and God created this person just for you, to complete you. For some, it also implies that the relationship will be as close to perfect as possible. I think finding our soul mate is fantasy, one from which life and reality will wake you. I think we choose if we are going to love as Jesus loved and who we’re going to love that way. I think we choose to do the every day work of love and become what we need to become to build up and complete our spouse and significant other. It doesn’t happen automatically because we say we’ve found our soul mate. This kind of love happens through intentional:

Hard work

Effort

Commitment

Adjustments

Compromise

Sacrifice

Transparency

Honesty

Humility

Toppling personal walls we’ve erected,

Asking forgiveness and learning to forgive and not holding grudges

Learning to love what he/she loves

Making him/her the priority

After fifteen years, we are convinced that love is not an emotional noun – something you feel; love is an active verb – something you do. I believe when you do the work of love, the feelings of love will follow. You don’t find a soul mate; you become one. 

Do you agree or disagree that you don’t find a soul mate but you become a soul mate through choosing to love a person the way Jesus loved? Why? 

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Humility is recognizing, admitting, and embracing my limits. Moreover, it is understanding what I don’t know and knowing who to go to and where to go to increase my knowledge base and capacity. But, we often pretend we are more exceptional and more skilled than we really are, and that we really don’t have limits or need anybody else to help us. We want to appear smarter, more well-read and well-informed than everybody else. We spend time posing, managing an image for people we think are important, wealthy, or well connected. We attempt to impress people with our capacity to know and do. This is far from embracing our limits. When we fail to recognize and embrace our limits, we run the risk of delusional living, thinking more highly of ourselves than we should, and we limit God’s promotion. I am learning to recognize, admit and embrace that:

I am not a messiah

I can’t and won’t save everybody

I can’t and won’t be at every meeting

I can’t and won’t meet everybody’s needs

I can’t and won’t please everybody

I can’t and won’t accept every speaking engagement

I won’t have all the right answers

I can’t and won’t fix every relational/marital problem  

I can’t and won’t say yes to everybody and everything

I fail often and make many mistakes   

I overcommit myself way too much  

There is not enough space to list the rest of my limitations, but trust me, there are many more.

If humility is recognizing, admitting and embracing my limits, then pride is the reluctance and refusal to recognize, admit and embrace my limits. This type of pride is never good and always precedes painful and sometimes public failure. I have had my share of these moments. Every day I am asking our heavenly Father to teach me what it means to recognize, accept and embrace my limitations.  

What about you? What are some limits you have refused to recognize, admit and embrace? Which ones will you begin admitting to God and others?

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