Handling Losses
Saturday, January 24th, 2009On January 19th, 2009, at her home, Jane Brainard, the mother of my friend, brother, and co-laborer, David Brainard, unexpectedly slipped behind the curtain of eternity and into the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. My heart goes out to her husband, George, and the rest of the Brainard tribe. I know all who knew her will miss her dearly.
Losing loved ones to illness and death, losing a job, losing a close friend, losing innocence, losing a dream, losing opportunities, losing possessions, or simply losing a handle on life, are all difficult losses to handle, no matter how strong of a person you are. We don't have to pretend to be unshaken, unmoved unflappable, and super spiritual. I give you permission to allow your heart to ache, throb, and spasm over the losses in your life. But, how do we manage our lives in the midst of the losses we face? As I watched and listened to the example of Brainard family over the last week, and was a bystander at the home going celebration today, I was deeply moved by their faith. So, I made a few observations on how we can handle our losses in life.
1. The family mourned because of their loss. In the Bible, the tearing of the clothes and shaving the head indicated intense grief and was often an immediate reaction to disaster. They broke the normal pattern of living for a time to acknowledge their loss. I did not see the tearing clothes and shaved heads (Well, I am not certain if the shaved heads was grief or just the aging process – lol!), but I saw a deep and healthy grief and sorrow. They mourned and sorrowed as people with hope. That hope rests in Jesus. Mourning and grieving is part of the human experience when we lose people that are dear to us, and we must take time to go through that process. We should grieve according to our own time schedule and in the way that is most comfortable for us. So, when you experience a loss, take ample time to grieve and mourn your losses. Remember, however, as believers in Jesus, we grieve and mourn with the assurance of better days ahead. So, go ahead and grieve because of your losses. It's all right!
2. The family worshiped in the midst of their loss. In the midst of grieving and mourning, I saw this family respond to this unexpected and tragic loss with a profound expression of worship. They recognized that God was and is the source of all life and is in control over all. They responded to him with praise, worship, and faith. They expressed this praise through some very powerful hymns and scripture . . . Amazing Grace, Ti's So Sweet, and It is Well with My Soul and Psalm 139, James 2, and John 11. As difficult as it might be to worship, praise and trust during our losses the Holy Spirit can empower us to do so. I saw it today and was inspired to cultivate a deeper trust to let Him energize me in that way.
3. The family guarded their hearts after the loss. The Brainards, especially George, could have given into the temptation to blame God and become angry and bitter, but I saw him, the children and other relatives guard their relationship with God. I sense that the family will remain righteous and use this very painful time to draw close to God. When we lose people, things, dreams, and opportunities, let us use these very difficult times to draw close to our God and let him show us Himself.
One more . . . The family drew on the strength of community during their loss.
These are just a few of my observations. If you have experienced deep loss in your life, let me know how you have handled those losses. It just may encourage someone else.
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