I’m Sorry
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. Psalm 139:23-24
I was taught that if you hurt someone or offend someone, you apologize and ask the person to forgive you. The other morning I was impressed with the thought of how I have hurt and offended my heavenly Father, and how I needed to tell him, “I’m sorry.” So, here is a portion of my apology note to my heavenly Father:
For the times I taught your word in my own strength and for my own glory, I’m sorry.
For the times when I thought I was You, I’m sorry.
For the times I said You existed, but lived like You didn’t, I’m sorry.
For the years that I was angry at how “church people” treated me, I’m sorry.
For the times I was jealous/envious of another’s gifting or their success, I’m sorry.
For the times I let days go by without talking with you, I’m sorry.
For the times I was more concerned about my blog traffic and stats than about your glory and honor, I’m sorry.
For the times when I thought it was all about me, I’m sorry.
For the times I embarrassed the Kingdom with my words/actions, I’m sorry.
For the times I crucified you all over again, I’m sorry.
For the times I took the “second look,” I’m sorry.
For the times I had the attitude of the older brother, I’m sorry.
For the times when I used people for my own benefit and gain, I’m sorry.
For the times I put the church before my first church (family), I’m sorry.
For the times I was self-righteous and judged others harshly, I’m sorry.
For the times I knew what was right but did what was wrong, I’m sorry.
For the times my motives were tainted with personal gain and security, I’m sorry.
For the times I harbored unforgiveness and bitterness toward others, I’m sorry.
For the times I placed my priorities ahead of yours, I’m sorry.
For the times I posed and managed an image to impress people, I’m sorry.
For the times I clouded the truth to save myself, I’m sorry.
For the times I simply went through the motions, I’m sorry.
For the times I breathed your air, ate your food, used your gifts, and enjoyed your blessings, without saying thank you, I’m sorry.
1 John 1:9 says: if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
James 5:16 says: confess your sins to one another that you might be healed.
Proverbs 28:13 says: People who cover their sins will not prosper. But if they confess and forsake them, they will receive mercy.
What about you? How would your apology note to your heavenly Father look?
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Tags: Confession, Forgiveness, Grace, Honesty, Humility, Pride, Transparency
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:14 pm
This is a good word. My apology would be laced with tears and shrouded in pain. I would just cry out in agony and have to allow the Holy Spirit to speak for me. I'd be overwhelmed with Godly sorrow and my words would be futile.
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Thanks. I think this is true of all of us. Confession is an agonizing, yet freeing spiritual habit, and I believe God desires all of his children to engage in it. The Holy Spirit does tell God the groans that are too deep for words. Words that are empowered by the Holy Spirit will never be futile before God. Under his guidance and by his power, you can start crafting your own apology note to Him.
June 23rd, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Good word.
My apology causes my stomach to turn and then my chest gets heavy.
The words I write would release me from this burden, one at a time.
I am so thankful for His love and forgiveness. His compassion overwhelms me.
Wow, He still loves me
June 23rd, 2009 at 4:27 pm
My list is so long, every day it seems. Grace is quite humbling.
June 23rd, 2009 at 4:32 pm
What a mighty and amazing God we serve! I knew i would be taking a chance with publishing my list, but i know there is freedom in honesty and transparency. David, I am overwhelmed by his unyielding love for me, as well. Thanks for reminding us of his amazing grace and love. Walk in the freedom that was purchased at Calvary. Grace and peace.
June 23rd, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Yeah, you're right. My list is longer. I just stopped. lol! His grace, forgiveness and love are quite humbling. Our only response is, Lord, thank you! K, walk in that grace today. Grace and peace.
June 23rd, 2009 at 4:52 pm
I can identify with several of the ones you've listed.
Here's one I've been stewing on…
For the times when I confused fighting for a cause with doing your work… I'm sorry.
This definitely needs to become a work in progress for me.
June 23rd, 2009 at 5:37 pm
Enter text right here!
I am sorry too, i quickly see the fault in other. I know well by now what i see so quickly in others is in me. I am thankful to the Holy Spirit that he reminds me of that again and again, even today. I am so sorry and really want that part out of my live so i can go to another area and get that right with your help . Thank you Marvin for allowing God to use you to encourage me to learn and change.
June 23rd, 2009 at 5:51 pm
Daise, thanks for sharing your heart, as usual. I, too, am quick to see the fault in others. i think this is true because I want to divert the attention away from my own faults. I truly want to practice the Jesus ethic of loving others and forgiving others just as he loved and forgave. Again, thank you for being a major influence in my life. Grace and peace.
June 23rd, 2009 at 5:54 pm
Chris, this should have made my list. I, too, get it twisted sometimes. The Manifesto by Len Sweet and Viola really spoke to this issue for me. I want to follow Jesus, not really good and sometimes misdirected spiritual causes. Thanks for always pushing me and making my writing better and more accurate. Grace and peace.
June 23rd, 2009 at 7:13 pm
Here's the start of my list.
For the times when I confused fighting for a cause with doing your work… I'm sorry.
For trying to substitute knowledge for obedience… I'm sorry.
For assuming the next guy will do the work… I'm sorry.
For thinking that reading ABOUT the Bible is same thing as reading THE Bible… I'm sorry.
For saying "I'll pray for you" and then not doing it… I'm sorry.
For not trusting You with the little stuff… I'm sorry.
For not trusting you with the BIG stuff… I'm sorry.
For forgetting that you love "the least of these" as much as you love me… I'm sorry.
For assuming the debt I owed was less than that of my neighbor… I'm sorry.
For begrudgingly giving precisely 10%… I'm sorry.
For the counting on the church to train my child in the ways of Lord… I'm sorry.
For being more interested in making sure others know what *I* have to say about something rather than what YOU have to say about something… I'm sorry.
For not taking the time to understand what someone is really saying and responding anyway… I'm sorry.
June 23rd, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Chris, thanks for taking the chance to share your list. I was particularly struck by thinking that reading ABOUT the Bible is the same as reading THE Bible. Thank God for his grace.
June 24th, 2009 at 2:09 am
For reading others apology notes and thinking I dont have anything…I'm sorry (for all have sinned…)
For wearing my emotions on my sleeves… I'm sorry
For not treating my body like a temple, and letting it get out of control…I am truly sorry
For asking for your help and then accepting it, but going back on my part of the agreement…I'm sorry
For promising to tithe and putting it off, saying that you understand… I am sorry, help me do better
For not doing a better job of reaching my sister…i'm sorry
For being like Jonah… I'm sorry
June 24th, 2009 at 2:15 am
Hey, thanks for sharing part of your list. I can identify with and am convicted by several on it. Your note encourages me to apologize for several more areas and commit to do better. I thank God for his amazing grace. His power is perfected in our weakness. Let's work together to get better. Again, thanks for sharing part of your apology note. Grace and peace.
June 24th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Great post, this is just to show us all how we are not perfect, but we are made perfect in His image so he still loves us. I have many imperfections and God knows them. We are all a work in progress. I ask the Lord to show me my flaws so I can work on them. When I repent and forgive myself and others that I hurt, I feel free. I am truly thankful for the holy spirit (my helper) to keep me in check.
June 24th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
For being too proud to …, I'm sorry.
For being angry and not…, I'm sorry.
For wallowing in self-pity, I'm sorry.
For complaining about…, I'm sorry.
For spending too much time on word games, Fb, Yahoo and Tekken when I should have been…, I'm sorry.
For not loving my neighbor, I'm sorry.
For ignoring your nudge to…, I'm sorry.
For disobeying Your commandment to honor and obey my husband, I'm sorry.
For holding on to bitterness…, I'm sorry.
For doubting Your power, I'm sorry.
For being impatient, unbending and at times very cruel to my children, I'm sorry.
For doubting Your love for me, I'm sorry.
For not walking in freedom, I'm sorry.
For cussing someone out, even if it is just in my head, I'm sorry.
For blaming You…, I'm sorry.
For not saying I'm sorry when I should, I'm sorry.
June 24th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
DC, thanks for taking a chance in sharing your apology note. Your voice here is very powerful and real. I appreciate you and what God is doing in your life. Keep giving him room to work and conform you to his image. Thanks for being a strong supporter of Soul Man. Blessings on you, Matt and your tribe! Grace and peace.
June 24th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Thanks for sharing these very relevant and powerful words. I an convinced when we realize that we are not perfect and his grace covers our imperfections and that we know that we are accepted by him and in him, we don’t feel the pressure of having to manage and image to impress others. Thanks for the reminder.
June 24th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
Cussing someone out in your head… ouch. That one hits home.
June 24th, 2009 at 10:24 pm
bjconkle I can so relate to most of your list and it hurts sometimes to see my flaws but I know I want to do right for the Lord so becoming humble and bringing all of my ways to the surface really helps to cleanse my spirit. I see some things on your list that I really need to work on and continuing working on. I think this post is so important, we all hide behind our sins. My pastors wife once asked me if Jesus came to my home and saw things in each room, would he be pleased? What rooms in my home do I need to clean out/ get rid off. If we love the Lord with all our hearts we should strive to please God. This a great post and very cleansing, thanks Soulman