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Living with Loneliness

Living with Loneliness


Several years ago a man put an ad in a Kansas newspaper. It contained only fifteen words, but it got amazing results. It said: “I will listen to you talk for 30 minutes without interruption for $5.” It sounded like a joke, but it was “legit.” In fact, some people needed to talk to someone so badly that they called long distance. After the ad ran for several days, the person was receiving 10-20 calls a day. The person who put the ad in the paper realized that this is a lonely world and saw a way not only to make money, but to provide a service to people who were lonely. 

Loneliness has been described as the most desolate word in the human language. It can be defined as the feeling of and/or being unwanted and isolated. These feelings can be perceived or actual. Loneliness strikes people in every stage and circumstance of life: a single person trying to find Mr. or Ms. Right or following a broken romance with Mr. or Ms Almost Right; the inmate in prison who is doing life and have nothing to look forward to; the military service person thousands miles from home, the widow who buried her soul-mate and now takes walks, watches movies, and eats dinner alone; the teenager who stares disinterestedly at the TV or video game, trying to escape the pain of a home pressured by drugs or alcohol or divorce; the divorced man or woman who has little opportunity or no scriptural basis to remarry. It is no secret that all of our hearts have throbbed with loneliness at some point in time. What are some causes of loneliness? The following list is not meant to be exhaustive. 
  • Being separated from cherished relatives and friends may cause loneliness. Friends and/or family members deserting us or betraying us may cause loneliness. Moreover, friends or family members relocating to another city, or being called up for military duty, or leaving home for college or getting married or unfortunately dying, may cause feelings of loneliness. 
  • Being rejected by others may cause loneliness. When people reject our love, our work, our advice, our abilities, we feel the pain of loneliness. 
  • Being defamed, disgraced and discredited by others may cause loneliness. Being ridiculed because you are the only Jesus follower on your job may cause loneliness. When we are disgraced or discredited because of our gender or our race, loneliness can penetrate the toughest heart.  
  • Certain times of the year may cause loneliness. For Paul, winter was probably a difficult time for him. The coming of winter could not doubt be felt in the dark, stony, damp and cold dungeon of his prison cell. Paul seemed to be saying, “I can’t take winter alone.” Psychologists say we go through cyclical times in our lives. When a bad experience occurs, the next year on that date, we subconsciously slump; our minds and hearts simply won’t forget. The holiday seasons are tragically lonely and difficult times for many people. 

We handle loneliness in different ways, and sometimes those ways are very destructive. Drinking, drugging, sexing, working, spending, sulking and “pity-partying” away our loneliness are not healthy answers. Many people die lonely, but that does not have to be true of us. Loneliness does not have to be a wasted experience. Some beautiful things can happen to and through us in our loneliness. I am convinced we can unlock the treasure chest of contentment, in the midst of loneliness, by turning five keys. Join me tomorrow as we turn these keys and not let loneliness stop us from living. 

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008 at 2:37 am and is filed under Loneliness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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