As a pastor I have officiated many, many funeral services – mothers, fathers, uncles, grandfathers, teenagers, suicide victims, etc. With each service, I realize more and more, death is not the way it's supposed to be. Some would say I should put of sliver of ice in my heart and detach myself and get used to it. As a pastor, I have never gotten used to death and I hope I never will. All funeral services wreck me emotionally in some sense. But, no funeral service is more gut-wrenching for me and wrecks me more than that of a baby or a young child. The several that I have done, I could not stop bawling, even long after the service was over. Partially because the parents lost a precious gift and I can only imagine the depths of their pain. Also, because I have small children. Every so often during the singing or when we silently read the obituary, my mind would slip away and think about my own precious gifts and if it were them in the casket. These thoughts are unbearable for me, and a new fountain of tears spring from my eyes. For a split second, I place myself in their shoes and I hold the parents' pain in my heart.
During times like these, inevitably, I get asked the question – If we were all born in sin and cannot get to heaven apart from Jesus, then What happens to babies/small children when they die?
This is obviously a tender and tough question. Parents want to know, "Will I see my baby/child again? or What happens to infants/small children when they die? The proper place to begin is to admit that the Bible doesn't specifically address the question. However, we do know two things are true. Children are not born innocent in the sight of God. They are born sinners just like everyone else (Psalm 51:5; Romans 5:12). They are not innocent before God. Secondly, we know that God's grace is greater than human sin. Romans 5:20 reminds us that where sin abounded, grace – God's love and favor toward humanity – superabounded.
Now, because infants do not have the natural capacity to see the revelation of God's glory (John 9:41) and his will (Romans 1:20) and embrace it, I believe God, in his inscrutable way, credits children with the power of Jesus' blood and righteousness. So that those who die before they are old enough to believe are covered by his blood and their entrance into heaven is made certain. Thus, they are saved by grace. it is important to emphasize that God is not saving them because they are innocent, but he is saving them because his mercy desires that compassion to be exercised on those who are sinful yet lack the capacity to understand truth revealed about Him in nature, the human heart, the word and through his Son, Jesus.
There is one inference in the Bible that babies go to heaven when they die. In 2 Samuel 12, David is mourning over the loss his baby. He said, "But why should I fast when he is dead? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him one day, but he cannot return to me." v. 23. David was not perfect, but he trusted God and was called a man after God's own heart. Therefore, I believe his statement "I will go to him one day" is more than I will die one day. It goes beyond death to a reunion with his child in the presence of God.
"You are good and do only good. . . " Psalm 119:68
What do you think? What other words of encouragement would you give to a parent(s) who has lost a baby or young child?
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