Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. Psalm 139:23-24

I was taught that if you hurt someone or offend someone, you apologize and ask the person to forgive you. The other morning I was impressed with the thought of how I have hurt and offended my heavenly Father, and how I needed to tell him, “I’m sorry.” So, here is a portion of my apology note to my heavenly Father: 

For the times I taught your word in my own strength and for my own glory, I’m sorry.

For the times when I thought I was You, I’m sorry.

For the times I said You existed, but lived like You didn’t, I’m sorry.

For the years that I was angry at how “church people” treated me, I’m sorry.  

For the times I was jealous/envious of another’s gifting or their success, I’m sorry.

For the times I let days go by without talking with you, I’m sorry.

For the times I was more concerned about my blog traffic and stats than about your glory and honor, I’m sorry.

For the times when I thought it was all about me, I’m sorry.

For the times I embarrassed the Kingdom with my words/actions, I’m sorry. 

For the times I crucified you all over again, I’m sorry.

For the times I took the “second look,” I’m sorry.

For the times I had the attitude of the older brother, I’m sorry.  

For the times when I used people for my own benefit and gain, I’m sorry.

For the times I put the church before my first church (family), I’m sorry.

For the times I was self-righteous and judged others harshly, I’m sorry.

For the times I knew what was right but did what was wrong, I’m sorry.

For the times my motives were tainted with personal gain and security, I’m sorry.  

For the times I harbored unforgiveness and bitterness toward others, I’m sorry.

For the times I placed my priorities ahead of yours, I’m sorry.

For the times I posed and managed an image to impress people, I’m sorry.

For the times I clouded the truth to save myself, I’m sorry.

For the times I simply went through the motions, I’m sorry.  

For the times I breathed your air, ate your food, used your gifts, and enjoyed your blessings, without saying thank you, I’m sorry.

1 John 1:9 says: if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 

James 5:16 says: confess your sins to one another that you might be healed.  

Proverbs 28:13 says: People who cover their sins will not prosper. But if they confess and forsake them, they will receive mercy.

What about you? How would your apology note to your heavenly Father look?

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In addressing the students of Oxford University, John Wesley said, “How few of you spend, from one week to another, a single hour in private prayer.” As I read this, this statement sent waves of conviction through the corridors of my own soul. It reminded me of how I have failed, in many ways, to make private prayer more of a priority in my life. Why do I fail more often than I succeed at having a vibrant personal prayer life?  I believe, during those times when I become intoxicated with the elixir of complacency and self-sufficiency, I tend to pray less.

This was true of Peter, James and John. On one of the most painful nights of Jesus’ life, Jesus takes his closest followers to a place called Gethsemane. There, he longs for and invites them to watch and pray with him. They handle this privilege and responsibility with faithfulness, right? Not! On three separate occasions, instead of finding them watching and praying with him, Jesus finds them sleeping. Just couldn’t their eyes open. Jesus was disappointed that they had become victims of the condition I call “Gethsemane Sleep” – when his followers become complacent in their prayer privilege and responsibility (Matthew 26:33, 35-41).

Not only had they become complacent, but they also had sipped, imbibed, and become drunk off the wine of self-sufficiency. Peter said, “I will never deny you. And all the other disciples vowed the same.” (Matthew 26:35) As we used to say on the block, “Never is a long time.”  You should never say never because  we are too frail and too prone to failure to say what we will never do. Sounds too much like pride, overconfidence, self sufficiency or cockiness to me. I recognize it because I have been there, done that, got the T-shirt, and am making the video version of it. And, the next time we see them, they are sleeping instead of praying. I believe prayerlessness had infiltrated their lives long before they were found to be prayer-less in Gethsemane; it was just revealed when Jesus found them sleeping. 

Isaiah said that prayerlessness is a sure sign that we have grown tired of God: “But my dear people, you refuse to ask for my help. You have grown tired of me! (Isaiah 43:22) When we are more concerned about our social networks than our Spiritual Network, then we have grown tired of God. When we depend more on our own strength to get things done rather than his power to accomplish the impossible, then we have grown tired of God. When we manipulate and maneuver circumstances and people to get our way rather than trusting him to change hearts and navigate circumstances, then we have grown tired of God. When we trust our own resources more than the Source of our resources, then we have become victims of prayerlessness and thus have grown tired of God. 

Let’s demonstrate to our heavenly Father that we have not grown tired of him by spending quality time with him in prayer and depending on his wisdom and his power for our lives. 

How much time do you spend in prayer from one week to another? What do you need to do to make prayer more of a priority in your life?      

Tired of God? Wake up your prayer life.  

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Humility is recognizing, admitting, and embracing my limits. Moreover, it is understanding what I don’t know and knowing who to go to and where to go to increase my knowledge base and capacity. But, we often pretend we are more exceptional and more skilled than we really are, and that we really don’t have limits or need anybody else to help us. We want to appear smarter, more well-read and well-informed than everybody else. We spend time posing, managing an image for people we think are important, wealthy, or well connected. We attempt to impress people with our capacity to know and do. This is far from embracing our limits. When we fail to recognize and embrace our limits, we run the risk of delusional living, thinking more highly of ourselves than we should, and we limit God’s promotion. I am learning to recognize, admit and embrace that:

I am not a messiah

I can’t and won’t save everybody

I can’t and won’t be at every meeting

I can’t and won’t meet everybody’s needs

I can’t and won’t please everybody

I can’t and won’t accept every speaking engagement

I won’t have all the right answers

I can’t and won’t fix every relational/marital problem  

I can’t and won’t say yes to everybody and everything

I fail often and make many mistakes   

I overcommit myself way too much  

There is not enough space to list the rest of my limitations, but trust me, there are many more.

If humility is recognizing, admitting and embracing my limits, then pride is the reluctance and refusal to recognize, admit and embrace my limits. This type of pride is never good and always precedes painful and sometimes public failure. I have had my share of these moments. Every day I am asking our heavenly Father to teach me what it means to recognize, accept and embrace my limitations.  

What about you? What are some limits you have refused to recognize, admit and embrace? Which ones will you begin admitting to God and others?

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