Posts Tagged ‘Self Examination’

Editing My Life

Saturday, April 17th, 2010

 Editing My Life

I am always looking for powerful questions I can use or that my closest friends can use to edit and vet my life. Though I will add to this list, here is a list of questions that I think am going to settle on for a while. These questions were produced by the Church Multiplication Association.  The ten questions are as follows:

1. Have you been a testimony this week to the greatness of Jesus Christ with both your words and actions?

2. Have you been exposed to sexually alluring material or allowed your mind to entertain inappropriate thoughts about someone who is not your spouse this week?

3. Have you lacked any integrity in your financial dealings this week, or coveted something that does not belong to you?

4. Have you been honoring, understanding and generous in your important relationships this past week?

5. Have you damaged another person by your words, either behind their back or face-to-face?

6. Have you given in to an addictive behavior this week? Explain.

7. Have you continued to remain angry toward another?

8. Have you secretly wished for another’s misfortune so that you might excel?

9. Did you finish your reading this week and hear from the Lord? What are you going to do about it?

10. Have you been completely honest with me?

What do you think about these questions? Are there others you can add to this list? Do you have someone in your life who can edit your life with these questions?

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Protecting His Brand

Saturday, April 10th, 2010

Many of you have already seen this ad that Nike and Tiger released this week. Let me say up front, I like Nike and Tiger, and I am really pulling for him to win the Master’s this weekend. If he wins, his will go down in the annuls as one of the most compelling stories in past and recent sports history. More importantly, I am pulling for him to be a better husband, father, friend and person.

Now, regarding the ad. I really didn’t know how to respond when I first saw it, and I wanted to withhold my opinion until I had time to digest its content and true meaning. As I thought more and more about the ad, it was obvious to me that Nike and Tiger weren’t selling clubs, balls, or shoes. But, they were selling something. What they were selling and how they were selling it, made me uncomfortable. They were using Tiger’s dead father’s voice, out of context mind you, to protect, re-image, and sell the Tiger brand. In my humble opinion, it seemed they were more interested in image rather character and integrity.

This ad inspired a personal question in me: As a leader and minister, how do I protect and sell the Jesus brand in my life each day? Here are some of my answers:

1. Begin each day by acknowledging my absolute need for Jesus
2. Express gratitude to Jesus every day for the gifts that he’s given me
3. Quietly transfer all glory to Him
4. Invite and pursue correction from godly men and women
5. Repent quickly and thoroughly
6. Don’t take myself too seriously (laugh at myself)
7. Model my life after the One who made himself of no reputation

What was your initial response to the Nike and Tiger ad? As a believer, what are some other ways you protect the Jesus brand each day?

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When Tragedy Strikes

Friday, January 15th, 2010

As the global community has been deployed to provide relief to the people and land of Haiti, we still wrestle with troubling questions regarding this calamity. The fact is, we respond to world tragedies with deep, unsettling questions, don’t we? The earthquake in Haiti caused my kids to ask questions like these: Why do mind-staggering tragedies like this happen? If God is strong and powerful and loving and close, couldn’t he have prevented the devastation in Haiti? Is God punishing the people of Haiti in some way? Are the people in Haiti more unrighteous than thousands of murderers, rapists and thieves in the world, that something like this would happen to them? These questions are legitimate, but they inch me and all of us away from an appropriate personal response to world tragedy. I think I can respond appropriately to world tragedies by answering several important personal questions that Luke 13:1-9 raises – questions of mortality, eternity, and productivity.

The first question is a question of Mortality: How close am I to the end of my life?

Luke chronicles two historical events to show how indiscriminate death is. One event accounts for the evil of one man can exact on another human being. Pilate had some Galileans killed while they worshiped.  These people died at the hands of an evil man. Evil people do evil things to innocent people.

The other event (which has greater relevance to the tragedy in Haiti) shows how death can happen naturally. A tower in Siloam fell and killed 18 people. Many were caught beneath the rubble, hoping and praying for someone would intervene and bring relief and rescue. Our fallen world is filled with such tragedies that break our hearts over and over again. Tornadoes, hurricanes and earthquakes are natural catastrophes that snatch lives out of this world each year and destroy miles and miles of valuable property. This event was so unlikely, but it happened. It was a natural disaster. Haiti has experienced one natural disaster after another. That one nation can experience so much natural disaster seems unlikely, but it has happened. This was a natural disaster. People die in natural disasters all the time, but it does not make them more sinful than anyone else.

The issue here is not the timing of death or even the cause of death. The issue is that we are mortal beings and we will all die.  We love to talk about others’ deaths and tragedies just as long as it doesn’t get too personal. World tragedy is a prime opportunity for us to discuss our own mortality. Nothing is so certain as death, and nothing is so uncertain as the hour of our death. We will die, either by some horrific calamity, evil plot, cancer, car accident, or some natural cause.  Most of us are not afraid to die; we just don’t want to be there when it happens. In light of this world tragedy, let us consider the question of our own mortality – How close am I to the end of my life?

If death was the end, then I think we could possibly live with that. I mean, we have lived a decent life, made a little money, enjoyed family and friends, and had some good times. But the question of Mortality causes me to consider a second question (next post) – a question of Eternity.

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What Will They Say?

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

Every so often I wonder about my funeral. (Now, I know this is not a pleasant thought, but it has a significant purpose for me). When I think about that day, I wonder what people will say about me, you know, what kind of person I was and what kind of impact I made on the world. This process is quite humbling and motivating. It’s humbling because I know God is the one who controls life and not me. I know my life will end one day. It’s motivating because it causes me to give my life to the things that really matter – God, eternal values, family and friends. 

Therefore, each day I live, I am writing, or at least have opportunity to write the eulogy that I would like read at my own funeral.  Here are some questions that have been very helpful to me as I have thought through this process. They may be helpful to you, too, as you write and live your own eulogy

1. How do I want to be remembered?

2. What personal characteristics do I want people to remember me for or by?

3. What do I want to have accomplished? 

4. What will have been the most important to me in my life? 

5. What will my lasting legacy be?

Have you ever asked yourself these kinds of questions? If so, how did the process make you feel? 

If you don’t mind, take a moment to think through one of the questions above and leave your answer here. Grace and peace.

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The Last 3 Minutes

Wednesday, June 10th, 2009

I was at a luncheon on yesterday, where Don Cousins, author of LeaderShift, was speaking to a group of pastors. I was sitting next to a distinguished gentleman, who is a very prominent leader in the black community and an associate minister at the host church. While we listened to the talk (It really was a great talk), he made it pretty obvious that he did not want to be there. He seemed to grow more and more impatient with each passing minute. He checked his watch at least 10-15 times and held his head down almost the entire talk, fiddling with his PDA.

Minutes before Cousins finished his talk, the man got up to leave, but his pastor asked him to stay until Cousins was completely done. He complied. Afterwards, he told his pastor that during the talk he was convinced that his church was not the place for him and that he was leaving. Then he said, “But, in the last three minutes of the talk, the Lord spoke to me, telling me there is work to be done. I’m staying.” Now, Cousins’ talk lasted almost an hour (Every leader and pastor should have heard it), but it was the last three minutes that impacted this man and changed his mind.

This brief exchange taught me a few lessons:

  • 180 seconds in more than enough time for God to speak and change a mind and a life.
  • If I bail out of a message or prayer or a conversation too soon, I could be missing what God wants to say to me, to disturb me, encourage me, challenge me, bless me, empower me, sustain me, and even rearrange my values to align with his. The last three minutes of my quiet time with God, listening to message, or having a conversation with a mentor or a friend, might be the most important minutes of the entire time. 
  • I need to dial in, be fully present, and listen carefully.

How have you experienced God speaking to you in a short period of time? How did you respond to his voice?

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Defenseless Cities

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

This piece is dedicated to all people who have been hurt in any way and have decided to erect cities and walls to protect themselves from being hurt again. To people who are hiding their real selves behind fortified cites. To people who have become professional image managers because they are afraid of not being accepted. To ragamuffin souls who desire to just be, to live authentic and transparent lives, but are afraid to tear down the walls and leave their fortified cities.    

I have built a fortified city
Where the walls are constructed of the mortar of 
Duplicity
Hypocrisy
Missed opportunities
And inconsistencies 
Uncried tears 
Selfish motives 
Anger 
Pride and fears 
I am safe within these walls
After all 
These walls are 
Impregnable
Impenetrable
Inaccessible 
Impassable 
Trackless, Pathless, Wayless
Would-be intruders are laughable 
I have erected a fortified city 
I am safe within these walls 
However, an undesired fate awaits me behind these walls 
I no longer desire to be safe within these walls 
Today, Jesus, I invite you; Lord, I invoke you; Savior, I need you 
To scale these walls 
Fell these walls
Assail these walls 
Break these walls 
Shake these walls 
Lord, please earth-quake these walls
I know I have erected these walls and 
All my life I have protected these walls
Now, I need you to inspect these walls
Demolish these walls 
And then resurrect these walls 
Tear down these walls 
Lay bare 
and pare down these walls 
Burn these walls 
Help me unlearn these walls 
I need you to day by day 
to dismantle these walls
implode these walls 
Deconstruct 
and expose these walls  
Reconstruct these walls 
By your grace rename these walls 
By your resurrection power reframe and reclaim these walls 
Until it’s a defenseless city, where there are no walls 
of vanity
none of suspicion 
none self importance and none of inhumanity  
No walls of inferiority 
none of arrogant superiority
No walls of jealousy 
none of envy 
None of self-consciousness 
and none of self-pity
Jesus is erecting a defenseless city, where the walls are constructed of 
Unconditional acceptance, Undying love, Untamed grace 
His reign, his authority. 

Popularity: 10% [?]

I Exam

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

 I Exam

Several weeks ago, I went to the ophthalmologist to get an eye exam. I had been having some blurred vision in the eye that my daughter accidentally scratched a couple years earlier. The nurse and doctor gave me a battery of tests – drops, reading charts, looking through tunnels, and looking for bright and faint lights. These tests were not fun at all. The end result, however, was that I would need reading glasses. I hate eye exams, but I love that I am able to see words on the pages clearly. Not only do I hate eye exams, but I am not crazy about "I Exams" either.  

An I Exam (self examination) is the reflection on one's own character, motives and actions, in order to judge whether they are truly aligned with God's values. Self-examination is the key to change and progress in our lives, ministries and businesses. When I have failed to do the hard work of self-examination, it has led me to pride and self-delusion. It is difficult internal work (which is always the most painful) because our hearts are deceitfully and desperately evil, and we are afraid of what is going to be revealed. However, I Exams help us to bring the page of our life into focus, so we can see where we are headed  in our lives.

The good news is that God is willing to help us in our I Exams. But, he will not cross the picket line of our unwillingness, but awaits to be invited into the deepest places of our hearts so that he can cross- examine us. In this cross examination, he tests our motives and affections. 

I Exams are not fun, but the purpose of them is to lead people to God and to align their lives with his value system. Moreover, the purpose of I Exams is to, with confidence and integrity, make a great impact on the world. Socrates said, "He that would move the world, must first move himself." 

How often do you get an I Exam? How has God used self-examination to help you change your life?

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Mirrors

Wednesday, February 18th, 2009

 Mirrors

I want you to close your eyes for about 5 seconds, and think about how you look. What did you see? I'll tell you what I saw. I saw a young man with a head full of hair, 34 waist, and rock hard body. When I open my eyes and look in the mirror, that image is altered. I have a little less hair, okay a lot less hair, a 36 waist, and body parts that are more like jello than Gibraltar. I mean, my eyes are the same color and I am the same height, but I have changed. I am not the same person, physically, I was five or ten years ago. Some of those changes I embrace, some others I deny, and others I really don't care about. Isn't it true that when we look in the mirror, we see what we want to see and ignore what we don't want to see? 

I believe this to be true of our inner lives as well. When someone holds up a mirror to our inner lives, we see what we want to see and ignore what we don't want to see. Looking into the mirror of the Bible and spending time confessing our sins to God and others is a sure way of practicing an often overlooked, but sorely needed spiritual habit – self reflection or self examination. Self reflection helps us to see where the flaws and potential flubs are in our lives. I have made some dumb mistakes that could have been easily avoided if only I had taken time to practice self reflection and self examination. Self reflection helps us to see who we really are and who we are becoming. Each day, when we look into the mirror of Holy Scriptures, we have a chance to determine if we are going to be destructive or imaginative, holy or soiled, compassionate or selfish. This is the reason why attending worship is so important. It is in worship where we meet our loving and perfect Father. As we bask in his presence, we are taken far away from the frenetic lives we lead and it is where we make decisions about what kind of person we desire to be and become in the world. Ponder these questions with me: 

Are you smarter than you were yesterday?
Are you making better decisions in your personal and professional life than you did yesterday?
Are you saying no to sin more today than you did yesterday? Last week? Last year?
Are you kinder to others and yourself than you were yesterday?
Are you more patient than you were yesterday or last week?
Are you calmer and less anxious than you were yesterday, last week, or last year?
Are you more caring and passionate than you were yesterday?
Are you becoming the person you want to become? That God desires you to become? 

Martin Buber said, "You cannot find redemption until you see the flaws in your own soul, and try to efface them. Nor can a people be redeemed until they see the flaws in its soul and try to efface them. However, whether it is an individual or a people, whoever shuts out their flaws is shutting out redemption. We can be redeemed only to the extent to which we see ourselves."    

Let's hold up the mirror to our inner life and let God, through his word, show us who we are and the people he desires us to become. 

Tell me what you think. 

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