By the grace and power of God, I have been married and faithful to my beautiful, funny and very smart wife for fifteen years. By his grace and power, I plan to remain married and faithful to her until death separates us. Now, please hear me. I don’t say this with pride, overconfidence, self-sufficiency or sitting in the judgment seat; I know I can fall and fail like so many others have. But, I say it with humility and gratitude to God. I think I have some compelling reasons why I have not had and don’t plan to have a “jump off.”

1. I made a covenant/commitment to love and honor my wife. When I said I do before God and those 300 witnesses, I meant what I said. I promised to love, honor, cherish and to forsake all others. To have a “jump off” would dishonor Tonia, break the covenant I made, and render my vows as empty words.

2. God has allowed me, over the years, to build a good reputation and to have a modicum of positive influence. To have a “jump off” would topple and ruin, in a minute, all that God has allowed me to build over a long period of time. It’s just not worth disappointing so many people and losing my voice of influence.

3. I enjoy living and keeping all my body parts. A twitter friend of mine (David Turner) said, ‘A “jump off will get you “jumped on.”‘ Lol! So, there are some physically compelling reasons for me not to have a “jump off.”

4. I have three beautiful children, who look up to their father and think that he is some sort of hero to them. I really try to live up to their expectations, but I know I fall short often. But, in this area, I don’t want to have to sit them down, take off the cape, and try to explain to them why my actions were less than heroic, why I hurt their mother in such a deep way, and why I broke their trust. That’s a conversation I would prefer not to have with them.

5. It is just too physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially draining to keep up with lies I’m supposed to tell, two or three sets of places I’m supposed to be, gifts I’m supposed to buy, lines I’m supposed to have down, and important dates I’m supposed to remember. I’m just becoming proficient in all of this with Tonia. To try and do this for more than one, I’m just not that good, and neither do I want to be.

6. For me to have a “jump off” would sully the sacredness of marriage and break the heart of my heavenly Father. I still believe that marriage is a sacred and holy relationship designed by God, and I want mine to be a true and clear picture of Christ’s relationship to the church. As for breaking the heart of my heavenly Father, I am trying to do that less and less.

It is time for us to take the energy and creativity we put into maintaining “jump offs” and redirect and reposition it toward working on, protecting and saving our marriages.

What are some other compelling reasons to remain faithful to your spouse? What practical things would you suggest or do you have in place to guard yourself from having an affair or committing adultery?

BTW, if you see me doing something, saying something, writing something or relating to someone in a way that is deemed inappropriate, you have the freedom to check me.

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The good looking kid (gets the looks from his mother) you see in the picture is my son, Micah. This year he has developed a love affair with baseball. On Thursday he asked me to work on his pitching with him. I told him that I would after I finished working out. I finished my workout, got something to eat, showered and before I knew it, time had slipped away from me. Now, I was rushing out the door to get to the office. As I was walking out the door, I heard his innocent but maturing voice, “I thought you were going to work on my pitching with me.”

Now, I had every intention on playing with him, but had conjured up several “good” reasons why we should postpone his pitching session: I was running behind schedule, he had just finished eating, and it had been raining earlier (Now, it really hadn’t rained long and hard enough to prevent us from playing). “Son, can we work on your pitching when I come back home this evening?” He said, “All right, dad.” Although his “all right” sounded like he understood, I knew it was laced with disappointment. His “all right” sounded like a hope deferred, and I was the one who had deferred it.  

When he conceded, I knew I was about to break a promise to my son. But, the Holy Spirit would not let me. He nudged me to put down my bag, my blackberry, and my afternoon snack and pick up my glove and work on pitching with my son. I obeyed. It was the best ten minutes of my day. Yes, it was inconvenient. Yes, it interrupted my flow. But, something more important than my schedule and my flow was at stake. My integrity was at stake. My example and reputation of being a “father who keeps a promise’ was at stake (I know another Father who has a reputation of keeping promises) This was about more than playing catch. It was about making and keeping a promise to my son. I told him I would, and I needed to keep my word. It was a promise worth keeping.

What promises have you made to your spouse, children, family and friends, that you need to keep today? What inconveniences or interruptions have you allowed to prevent you from keeping your word? What baby steps can you take to fulfill your promises?

Popularity: 47% [?]

There are few things that annoy me more than a person not keeping an appointment, but failing to call to let me know he or she is delayed or is not going to make the meeting. Being kept waiting is not a pleasant experience. I wonder if Simeon was frustrated as he waited for Messiah to come.

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Several years ago Hollywood released a film called the Perfect Storm. It was high impact drama, with a lot of deep waters and dark nights. The interesting thing about this blockbuster was that Hollywood spent an enormous amount of money on a film with no survivors. How sad! I imagine some of you feel like you are going through your own deep waters and dark nights right now. Many more of you feel like your entire life has been one deep water and dark night experience, and you wonder if you will survive. I want to encourage you today. You can survive your deep waters and dark nights by remembering a few lessons that God is teaching me. When I am going through my deep waters and dark nights I have to remember:

Popularity: 8% [?]