I was at a luncheon on yesterday, where Don Cousins, author of LeaderShift, was speaking to a group of pastors. I was sitting next to a distinguished gentleman, who is a very prominent leader in the black community and an associate minister at the host church. While we listened to the talk (It really was a great talk), he made it pretty obvious that he did not want to be there. He seemed to grow more and more impatient with each passing minute. He checked his watch at least 10-15 times and held his head down almost the entire talk, fiddling with his PDA.

Minutes before Cousins finished his talk, the man got up to leave, but his pastor asked him to stay until Cousins was completely done. He complied. Afterwards, he told his pastor that during the talk he was convinced that his church was not the place for him and that he was leaving. Then he said, “But, in the last three minutes of the talk, the Lord spoke to me, telling me there is work to be done. I’m staying.” Now, Cousins’ talk lasted almost an hour (Every leader and pastor should have heard it), but it was the last three minutes that impacted this man and changed his mind.

This brief exchange taught me a few lessons:

• 180 seconds in more than enough time for God to speak and change a mind and a life.
• If I bail out of a message or prayer or a conversation too soon, I could be missing what God wants to say to me, to disturb me, encourage me, challenge me, bless me, empower me, sustain me, and even rearrange my values to align with his. The last three minutes of my quiet time with God, listening to message, or having a conversation with a mentor or a friend, might be the most important minutes of the entire time. 
• I need to dial in, be fully present, and listen carefully.

How have you experienced God speaking to you in a short period of time? How did you respond to his voice?

Popularity: 26% [?]

As someone who makes a living talking, I know how powerful words can be. They can, like knives, pierce the heart and destroy a person’s life. On the other hand, our words, like medicine, can promote health and give life. I have seen this with my children. When I fuss and zero in on what they did wrong instead of what they did right, I see their spirit’s shrink. But when I praise them for a job well done or a “herculean” effort, their spirits soar. Needless to say, words are very powerful. 

However, there are times when my words are careless, have no positive impact, have no redeeming value and action, and bear no fruit. Sometimes my words cause people’s spirit’s to wither or fade away. 

The alternative is using our words to build a person up according to their needs. Let’s ask God to help us observe people’s lives to understand better what their needs are, and then use the right words to complete them. But, we must make the investment in discovery. After we have discovered the needs of people around us, let’s bestow a blessing on them with our words. Ask God to help you to use your words to benefit and complete others. 

Tell your children you love them and are proud of them 

Tell your spouse specifically how they have added value to your life

Tell a co-worker how much their work means to you and the company

Tell a friend specifically how they have been a blessing in your life.

Tell someone you forgive them  

When was the last time you intentionally used your words to heal, bless, or minister to someone else? Who will you bless and encourage today with your words?

Popularity: 10% [?]

It is no secret that we are going through tough economic times. One poll said that 3 out 4 Americans are either scared, stressed or angry. These tough economic times can make the holiday season even more stressful. With Christmas right around the corner, for many, this time of the season will not be jolly with holly, but will be depressing because they will be stressing. It will be filled with anxiety for many because they know that this time of the year means shopping in crowded stores, entertaining family (especially ones we don’t particularly like), spending money they don’t have, going deeper and deeper into debt, going to company parties and mingling with people they don’t know, but pretending to have a good time, spending time at “split dinners” with parents who have gotten divorced and are now remarried, or being alone. Although this time of the year can be stressful, it doesn’t have to be. So, I have prepared some “soul tips” to help you relieve some stress and make it a joy-filled holiday season for you and your family. These are not ordered according to importance. Feel free to add to this list and write me back.

1. Accept God’s grace. Our souls are stressed when we feel like we have to give gifts and show up for parties in order to be accepted by people.
2. Go to worship. Infuse your soul with joy by acknowledging God’s Son, Jesus
3. Stick to your budget. Don’t spend what you don’t have.
4. Mend broken or severely strained relationships. Forgiveness sets our souls free.
5. Start your own family holiday traditions.
6. Pay cash/limit your use of your credit card. There is nothing more stressful on your soul than carrying holiday debt into the new year. By God’s grace and a whole lot of discipline, we have committed to paying cash for our holidays.
7. Resist the urge and need to compete with others. If someone buys you a gift, don’t feel guilty because you didn’t buy them anything. You don’t have to run out and spend money that was not budgeted to purchase a gift for someone just because they bought you a gift. Accept their gift graciously.
8. Make a list. Make a list for your dinners and your gifts. A list has a way of curbing our appetite to spend more than we have and it gives us a sense of accomplishment.
9. Be generous. If you want to energize your soul and the soul of others, give and give generously to others.
10. Avoid overeating . Don’t go to holiday dinners and parties hungry.
11. Do some creative gift giving . White elephant parties are inexpensive and lots of fun.
12. Make a gift for your loved ones.
13. Spend quality time with your family.
14. Watch your favorite movie together. Night at the Museum is one of our favorites.
15. Invite friends over for breakfast/brunch and games.
16. Teach your kids generosity by encouraging them buy a gift for someone in need.
17. Buy Thanksgiving/Christmas dinner for someone in need.
18. Agree on a gift limit for each other and play according to the rules.
19. If you must drink, limit your consumption of the “holiday cheer.” If per chance you have too much of the cheer, be sure to have a designated driver to drive you home.
20. Write a love letter to each one of your family members.
21. Start early. Don’t stress yourself out with last minute and thoughtless shopping.
22. Give your spouse or your significant other your wish list. Don’t torture him/her by making him/her guess what you want.
23. Avoid the “same as cash” advertisements. The stores are anticipating you will not pay your balance off in the stipulated time and they will enjoy charging you the accrued interest.
24. Give the gift of paying on or paying off the consumer debt of a family member or friend.
25. Make a gratitude list. Focus on all the things for which you are grateful – home, family, friendships, health, job, church family, etc.
26. Exercise. It has been clinically proven that regular exercise reduces stress in our lives. So, walk, run, spin, lift, or ride.

Popularity: 13% [?]

If you look closely at a grave maker in a cemetery, you will see a couple of important things. You will see the person’s name, a favorite verse, and maybe a picture of some sort. However, those things are not the most important parts of the grave marker. The most important parts of a grave marker are not words and pictures, but a line, dash, a hyphen. That little line between your birth and death is the most important emblem on the marker. The date of your birth is significant, but it is not the most important because you really had no control over that. The date of your death is significant, but not the most important because you really don’t control that either (unless it is self-murder). The only part of the marker we have control over is that two inch dash between them. You see, embedded in that two inch dash is all of our life – our hopes, our dreams, our decisions (wise and foolish), how we used our time and how we spent our money, what we spent our life on or what we spent our lives chasing. The bible talks about us living three score and ten (that’s seventy years) and if God is gracious, we might see eighty years. I did the math. If we live 70 years, that translates to 25,550 days. Here is the equation: 70 – your age = x. Now multiply the sum by 365, and you will get the number of days left in your dash. Now this is a broad stroke generality. I know this is not something you wanted to think about on a Monday morning, but I am writing this post to encourage you to spend your dash wisely. Our days are too important to spend them on frivolous trivia (although I know this is par for the course), pettiness, and scarcity thinking. Because our time is precious, we must value it and spent it on precious things – spending quality time with our heavenly Father and the people we love, hugging spouses and our kids just a little tighter each day (i know we want to hug them tighter to kill them most times for their foolish choices and ungrateful attitudes), experiencing the wonders of God’s good creation, making love to our spouses for seven straight days (Thanks Pastor Ed Young), using our gifs to bless as many people as we can, serving those in need, laughing a lot, enjoying good food, watching the sunset (i got to move to warmer climate), and so many other Bucket List kinds of adventures. Approach each day with your dash in mind. So when you and I get to the end of our lives, people will be able to say and see that we spent our dash well.

Popularity: 11% [?]